Yesterday I felt tired beyond belief....so I went to bed early; not really relishing the idea of driving today. I was rewarded for my early night by being wide awake at 10 to 5 in the morning...I looked outside to be greeted by a day that would have not been out of place in the middle of November, grey, rainy and depressing with the prospect of a 200 mile round trip ahead of me...
This evening I returned in late afternoon, late summer sunshine...the kind of light that seems to have a golden warmth to it...and feeling as fresh as a spring flower despite having driven for 5 hours. Explain that! Easy...I spent the day with my two best friends.
I have never really had best friends before and it could be argued that I am a little long in the tooth to start! But these two are special...somehow we just click. We are quite different in many ways, each from different backgrounds, and yet we fit, we compliment each other perfectly.
On the face of it we did nothing special, we sat around drinking coffee, eating a simple (but delicious) omelet and salad. We coloured and played with two small boys. There was knitting and talking. And I came away feeling fully restored, rebalanced and content. Happier and fresher than I have felt for ages. And with plans for meeting again before the year is out as well as plotting a trip to Glastonbury to camp next year. Pure, unadulterated magic! And thank the Goddess for that magic I say!
Thursday, 25 August 2011
Thursday, 18 August 2011
holding the space part one
For the second time in two years I'm sitting here with my heart thumping in my chest, waiting and hoping...it's A level results day.
Two years ago when it was Lorna's turn I had no idea what to expect before hand. I have had an interesting relationship with my children's education, I hold little faith in the education system, nor rate the ensuing results, I have never been particularly academic. When it comes to the children I have always been enormously proud of their achievements, academic or otherwise. I have tried to foster an attitude of doing the best they can for themselves...not to please me or a teacher but for their own pleasure and pride in what they do. Basically I want them to be happy.
So we live and learn...of course Josh is a very different person to Lorna, but at least I was forewarned of something of the process this time. To be honest I don't think that makes any difference! It's nerve wrecking sitting here waiting for him to fetch his results, watching his face when he returns home, hearing his disappointment not to have achieved as he hoped he would, listening with bated breath from another room whilst he rings the university's on clearing to see if they will offer him a place. The frustration as the line is busy or, for one uni simply cutting him off. Then holding my breath as he gets through, hearing him answer the same questions over and over as he works his way through the different levels of staff. Waiting and waiting for them to ring back...
Being a parent is the best job I ever had....but like any job worth it's salt it's not all sunshine and laughter...still wouldn't change it for the anything.
Two years ago when it was Lorna's turn I had no idea what to expect before hand. I have had an interesting relationship with my children's education, I hold little faith in the education system, nor rate the ensuing results, I have never been particularly academic. When it comes to the children I have always been enormously proud of their achievements, academic or otherwise. I have tried to foster an attitude of doing the best they can for themselves...not to please me or a teacher but for their own pleasure and pride in what they do. Basically I want them to be happy.
So we live and learn...of course Josh is a very different person to Lorna, but at least I was forewarned of something of the process this time. To be honest I don't think that makes any difference! It's nerve wrecking sitting here waiting for him to fetch his results, watching his face when he returns home, hearing his disappointment not to have achieved as he hoped he would, listening with bated breath from another room whilst he rings the university's on clearing to see if they will offer him a place. The frustration as the line is busy or, for one uni simply cutting him off. Then holding my breath as he gets through, hearing him answer the same questions over and over as he works his way through the different levels of staff. Waiting and waiting for them to ring back...
Being a parent is the best job I ever had....but like any job worth it's salt it's not all sunshine and laughter...still wouldn't change it for the anything.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Manchester, part two!
Just reading back through some recent blog posts and realised that I promised more from Manchester, but didn't deliver!
Well after the run trip we were back a week later, this time to see Pink Floyd The Wall http://tour.rogerwaters.com/.
I have been a fan for longer than I have known my dear hubby! so to say I was excited was a tiny understatement!
We had a lovely lunch in the Arndale shopping centre. http://www.manchesterarndale.com/
We stayed at The Crowne plaza again.
We toddled off to the MEN http://www.men-arena.com/, we were very high up and the stage looked a long way off, but a pretty good view.
There was no support act, but the atmosphere was alive with anticipation. The place was pretty much full.
And then the show began....
(rubbish pics as I only had my phone!)
it was the original show from beginning to end. Retelling the story of 'Pink' the rock star with a troubled mind!
As the music unfolds the story a wall is built on the stage....
with projections of pictures and animations as well as inflatables....
I can't begin to describe how electric the atmosphere was....especially with tracks like Bring the Boys Back home...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHk40vfpWIE
when the wall is built, and the band no longer visible there is a break.
In the queue for the toilets I got talking to a woman whose son is a soldier away in Afghanistan....the messages Pink Floyd have been writing about are more relevant today than ever and sadly we seem further from a peaceful, loving society than ever....
Live music is unbeatable, but going to see a band that you have devoured for 30 years....well heaven couldn't be this good!
Apparently every big city has it's own 'eye' these days!
a bit of retail therapy before going home...
...jeans just hanging around!
Well after the run trip we were back a week later, this time to see Pink Floyd The Wall http://tour.rogerwaters.com/.
I have been a fan for longer than I have known my dear hubby! so to say I was excited was a tiny understatement!
We stayed at The Crowne plaza again.
There was no support act, but the atmosphere was alive with anticipation. The place was pretty much full.
And then the show began....
it was the original show from beginning to end. Retelling the story of 'Pink' the rock star with a troubled mind!
I can't begin to describe how electric the atmosphere was....especially with tracks like Bring the Boys Back home...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHk40vfpWIE
In the queue for the toilets I got talking to a woman whose son is a soldier away in Afghanistan....the messages Pink Floyd have been writing about are more relevant today than ever and sadly we seem further from a peaceful, loving society than ever....
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Wonderful nature
I am going a little stir crazy today. I think I have cabin fever too! Stuck indoors, with my laptop trying to figure out how to start the next essay for my diploma. Outside it has been monsoon like with some of the biggest ever raindrops that I have ever seen. The other day, however, I spent some time alone in the garden with the sun warm on my back....this is what I saw...
(I read recently on a wonderful blog http://www.kellehampton.com about a kit to 'grow your own butterflies' http://www.insectlore-europe.com/ At the time I thought it was a fab gift for a youngster the next time I needed an idea...but now seriously tempted to send for one for myself!!)
Oh and June produced some amazing sunsets!
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Remembering
As my second student antenatal course is coming to a close, and the couples are now so close to meeting their babies, I am reminded just what a journey I have been on since first becoming a mother.
I have learnt so much from my children. They showed me who I was and the reason I am here. From the moment I first held Lorna in my arms, I had such a strong sense of...rightness, that being a mother is why I was born.
Josh came along and a steep learning curve ensued! He taught me that babies always come first, he taught me exclusive, baby led breastfeeding, for as long as they want, he taught me that 'baby wearing' (the practice of carrying your baby close to your body within a structured sling or simple piece of fabric) until they are ready to leave is a what baby needs-not to be pushed in prams away from the comforts of a familiar beating heart and the warmth of another human body nor left to lie on their backs like stranded beetles alone and frightened in a cot in a room away from all that is familiar, he taught me that it is part of a human baby's biological expectation to sleep beside his mother each night and oh so many more things.
Heather has shown me how to love, the pure simple joys of creativity and also just how self-contained an individual can be, right from the moment of conception, that simply because, as a mother, I grew these babies inside my body does not give me any kind of ownership, they are their own people. My job has been to protect, feed, nurture, and love until such a time as they were big enough, strong enough and skilled enough to take on life's tasks and challenges for themselves.
I may not exert my will over them, nor claim their victories for my own. I see them as connected whilst separate, as all living beings on Earth are...though of course we feel some connections much more strongly than others.
When Lorna was learning to drive she reached a point when her driving instructor had passed on all the skills she needed...all she needed was to hone those skills in order to bring her confidence up. So we invested in a little car (Scotty! as it became affectionately known), the first time I got into the passenger seat beside her my mind was racing....and then it stilled. I was already a little way into my antenatal teacher training at this stage and suddenly the two different aspects of my world came crashing together...I am training to facilitate learning for adults. Now was the perfect time to put some of what I had learned into practice. The thoughts that had started to go through my mind were "I don't know how to teach someone to drive!"...but that wasn't what was required! She already knew how to drive, that was what all those months of lessons with a qualified driving instructor had ensured! So I dropped my shoulders which had seemed to be reaching for the moon!, took a deep calming breath and let the trust flood in. It was wonderful to see Lorna's confidence grow a little each time I sat beside her, and now as I watch her drive out of the drive regularly it is hard to remember a time when it wasn't so.
There is a temptation, when you are involved in any kind of education, to want to pass on EVERYTHING you know. As that is simply not possible or desirable I am constantly reminding myself that 'less is more' and that adults (or children for that matter!) are not blank pages for me to write all over or empty vessels that I can pour information into. As I have reflected many times during my parenting years and whilst teaching antenatal classes there are often times when I wish that my children or clients would just accept what I am saying! whilst knowing in my heart that that isn't going to help them or me, we all have our own path to walk in our lives. I am privileged to have walked a little way alongside the parents in my classes and even more so to have walked with my children. And I thank them so much for showing me what's important in life. Thanks guys, I love you X
I have learnt so much from my children. They showed me who I was and the reason I am here. From the moment I first held Lorna in my arms, I had such a strong sense of...rightness, that being a mother is why I was born.
Josh came along and a steep learning curve ensued! He taught me that babies always come first, he taught me exclusive, baby led breastfeeding, for as long as they want, he taught me that 'baby wearing' (the practice of carrying your baby close to your body within a structured sling or simple piece of fabric) until they are ready to leave is a what baby needs-not to be pushed in prams away from the comforts of a familiar beating heart and the warmth of another human body nor left to lie on their backs like stranded beetles alone and frightened in a cot in a room away from all that is familiar, he taught me that it is part of a human baby's biological expectation to sleep beside his mother each night and oh so many more things.
Heather has shown me how to love, the pure simple joys of creativity and also just how self-contained an individual can be, right from the moment of conception, that simply because, as a mother, I grew these babies inside my body does not give me any kind of ownership, they are their own people. My job has been to protect, feed, nurture, and love until such a time as they were big enough, strong enough and skilled enough to take on life's tasks and challenges for themselves.
I may not exert my will over them, nor claim their victories for my own. I see them as connected whilst separate, as all living beings on Earth are...though of course we feel some connections much more strongly than others.
When Lorna was learning to drive she reached a point when her driving instructor had passed on all the skills she needed...all she needed was to hone those skills in order to bring her confidence up. So we invested in a little car (Scotty! as it became affectionately known), the first time I got into the passenger seat beside her my mind was racing....and then it stilled. I was already a little way into my antenatal teacher training at this stage and suddenly the two different aspects of my world came crashing together...I am training to facilitate learning for adults. Now was the perfect time to put some of what I had learned into practice. The thoughts that had started to go through my mind were "I don't know how to teach someone to drive!"...but that wasn't what was required! She already knew how to drive, that was what all those months of lessons with a qualified driving instructor had ensured! So I dropped my shoulders which had seemed to be reaching for the moon!, took a deep calming breath and let the trust flood in. It was wonderful to see Lorna's confidence grow a little each time I sat beside her, and now as I watch her drive out of the drive regularly it is hard to remember a time when it wasn't so.
There is a temptation, when you are involved in any kind of education, to want to pass on EVERYTHING you know. As that is simply not possible or desirable I am constantly reminding myself that 'less is more' and that adults (or children for that matter!) are not blank pages for me to write all over or empty vessels that I can pour information into. As I have reflected many times during my parenting years and whilst teaching antenatal classes there are often times when I wish that my children or clients would just accept what I am saying! whilst knowing in my heart that that isn't going to help them or me, we all have our own path to walk in our lives. I am privileged to have walked a little way alongside the parents in my classes and even more so to have walked with my children. And I thank them so much for showing me what's important in life. Thanks guys, I love you X
Sunday, 5 June 2011
perfect!
I just wanted to share with you my perfect Sunday lunch time. CJ and I went for lunch at The Station http://www.richmondstation.com/ as we often do. We enjoyed our salads, had a potter to look at the beautiful art of a local man called John Hebborn http://www.john-hebborn.co.uk/ here are a couple of his pictures.
And then we went to sit on the squishy, comfy sofa with a caramel latte sumptuous brownie (for me) and mint tea and treacle tart for Chris whilst we read our books, HEAVEN!
I am reading The Mists of Avalon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mists_of_Avalon which is a retelling of the Arthurian legends told from the perspective of the women. I am really enjoying it.
On the way home (sort of!) we discovered Otterburn Mill http://www.thelakesidefarmshop.co.uk/, the cafe looks fab (we will try it an let you know!) and there is a wonderful range of clothes at 'off price' prices. I got a lovely white top and blue cardi. Ah great food, peaceful reading and retail therapy could a girl be any happier?!
And then we went to sit on the squishy, comfy sofa with a caramel latte sumptuous brownie (for me) and mint tea and treacle tart for Chris whilst we read our books, HEAVEN!
I am reading The Mists of Avalon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mists_of_Avalon which is a retelling of the Arthurian legends told from the perspective of the women. I am really enjoying it.
On the way home (sort of!) we discovered Otterburn Mill http://www.thelakesidefarmshop.co.uk/, the cafe looks fab (we will try it an let you know!) and there is a wonderful range of clothes at 'off price' prices. I got a lovely white top and blue cardi. Ah great food, peaceful reading and retail therapy could a girl be any happier?!
Thursday, 2 June 2011
I feel the need.....to blog!
No special reason, just feeling the need to blog right now!
Being up early in the morning has it's benefits...as well as seeing a heron fly over I saw these two...
Yesterday was my birthday...didn't do anything special... but the sun did...
I had my official birthday on Monday...
Being up early in the morning has it's benefits...as well as seeing a heron fly over I saw these two...
Yesterday was my birthday...didn't do anything special... but the sun did...
I had my official birthday on Monday...
beautiful flowers from my youngest daughter...
cake no 1...
cake no2.....made by dear daughter no1...
potted orchid from my 'baby' bro
bunch of orchids from my parents in law
another fabulous hurrah from the parting sun...
Today has been very hot, a proper summers day, with windows flung open (they are still open now at nearly 9pm...better close the upstairs ones soon before the bats get in!)
When I went to close the windows this is what I saw...
Today has been very hot, a proper summers day, with windows flung open (they are still open now at nearly 9pm...better close the upstairs ones soon before the bats get in!)
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