Ch ch ch changes...

I am catching up reading the blogs that I follow. Life is pretty full these days with three days a week at work, continuing renovations to the house and the new and improved me that likes to swim, cycle and walk this ole body into it's new and changing shape and fitness.

So, back to the blog posts, I've just read two with a similar theme about our children growing up and holding onto the shifting sand of their 'littleness'....it seems that almost without me noticing, my three have changed and grown beyond recognition. Yet they are the same as ever really, all that has changed is external to them. I'm waffling, sorry, I'm trying to put into words stuff that defies words. It's a feeling, a heartbeat, memories, dreams and anticipation.

Our eldest, always the pioneer for firsts is once again stepping into her covered wagon to negotiate new territory. For a brief while she took a back seat, her two younger siblings flying the nest before her to go off the university whilst she stayed in the safety and comfort of home for her university journey. But now she is taking up the reins again... she and her fiancé are buying their first home together and will soon leave the family home....

It all feels surreal, exciting and scary in equal measure... each new phase has been like this for me, for her, for us together...I guess I should really just go with the ride and stop trying to picture what the future will look like, feel like, be like... but it is hard to resist trying to peak around the corner to see what may be there, put my toes in the water and see if I like it...

It is also hard not to hanker back to the past, to remember and revel in the long past days when she was a tiny wee thing, never more than a heartbeat away from me, dependant, snuggly and utterly adorable. But we can never go back (and truly who really wants to?). Time moves on, and we embrace the new, standing back and watching in awe as our children master each new skill, each new life phase.

I love that my three camera shy children agreed to having their picture taken the other weekend. I love you to the moon and back guys. You will always be my babies, but I am so proud of you all. Thank you for choosing me to be your mum, you have made me the person I am.... you have made me complete. I will always be here for you.