Sunflare, heck yeah!

So Sunday was a stunning autumn day....but there was loads of stuff needed doing round the house...dilemma! Chris did a couple of jobs and then we went out....after sitting in the driveway for ten minutes trying to think of where to go we set off on a mystery tour!

We ended up at Aysgarth falls...

The resultant photos are all about the sun flare baby!

soul food

I was once told that I hug people as if I have mental health issues and an inability to connect...possibly there was some validity in this at the time...but not any more! I realised on Sunday that I give and receive and crave hugs with a passion! Where was I when I noticed this? I was in my spiritual home, The Northern College of Homeopathic Medicine...well technically I was in the building with the people that embody this sadly no longer physically existing entity! I attended a seminar led by Ian Watson.
I nearly didn't book a place...for the last four years homeopathy has taken a back seat in my life whilst I immersed myself in the birthing world and began to emerge as an antenatal educator. So I saw the details of the seminar but thought nothing of it...then a couple of people reminded me of it and finally I had a look in the diary...the date was free, so I booked. And I am so glad I did!
Being back in that place, seeing so many faces I hadn't seen for ages...I was like a child on christmas morning I found myself leaping around, arms outstretched to hug each and every one of those amazing people, and hugging them with real warmth. It was interesting to observe how this was received...many hugged back, with a similar fervour...some hesitated..then hugged back, a few hugged quickly and stepped away...
The seminar was the icing on the cake. Ian is a homeopath...who has grown and continues to grow in his healing practice. He is dynamic, and cheeky (and really quite sexy!), the day was filled with lots of anecdotes and stories from Ian's work and learning as a healer. I spent the day (which was very long...but never felt like it!) switching hats "this is so relevant to homeopathy, this is great for my work as an antenatal educator, wow that is perfect for me personally.
http://www.ianwatsonseminars.com/

Something...or rather someone, that came up during the day and also at the Soul and Birth workshop I did recently with Benig Mauger, is Carl Jung or rather his work...so I think I may find out a little more...

A friend said to me recently that she is always shocked when I introduce myself that I don't mention that I am a homeopath...after Sunday I too have begun to wonder what's going on here. I came away from the seminar feeling more energised than I have for a long time...and the key or lynch pin is homeopathy. I forget for a while just how switched on it makes me feel...I need to find positive ways to bring it back into my life so that I can shine...because it feels b****y fantastic!

Life as it is right now...

Recently I discovered that I had been feeling anxious...and I wasn't sure why...then I realised that it was the future that was unsettling me. I was trying to work out where I would be living and what my life might look like when Heather finishes her A levels (which, I should point out, she hasn't even chosen yet, let alone started to study!!) I am working hard on focussing on the here and now and the very immediate future.

I am still occasionally tempted to try to see too far ahead in my life and tie myself in knots working out why I am here and where I am going...and then I remember how hard that is for me and I settle back and focus on what I do know...that I have three assignments left to do to finish the diploma, that I need to write them one at a time until they are finished....that is my life's work for now....that and feeding my family and washing their laundry and washing the dishes, and shopping for food, and washing the dishes, and cleaning and tidying the house...and did I mention washing the dishes? (which seem to have a quality somewhat like the magic porridge pot, whereby as soon as I finish and empty the sudsy water more dirty dishes appear as if by magic and quickly threaten to suffocate me and the kitchen worktops!)

Last week I attended a workshop with Benig Mauger http://www.soul-connections.com/ called Birth and the Soul. She spoke about the rift caused by the take over of birth by patriarchy and technology. Birth is a very powerful, spiritual process which in the west has had the heart and soul ripped out of it. But the room was inhabited by 26 women, all working in different ways to heal that rift...that is magic!

The essay I am currently researching is Informed Decision Making...the research makes for pretty depressing reading and yet again I am asking myself am I strong enough for this, can I make a difference and help to change the birthing world for the better? and by so doing make the world a better place...I have no doubt that
if we can reclaim natural birth, the way that nature so beautifully designed, then we would start to right many of the worlds wrongs.....

The seasons roll onward...

This year seems to have flown, it's autumn already though today was unseasonally warm an Indian summer... they have forecast snow for next month!

The sun put on a real show tonight...

         

     

Chris had his birthday...improvising with number candles!

And Josh went off to uni...

September

Today is the first day of September and therefore the first day of autumn. I love autumn...but it feels too soon. The weather today has been amazing I have line dried 4 lots of bedding...but there was a chill in the air when I fetched it in at 6.30 and the sun disappeared just after eight. The lamps are lit and candles burning on the hearth.

There are more autumnal things close on the horizon, Heather goes back to school on Monday and in a couple of weeks we will be driving Josh to Manchester to begin his university education. Mostly I am excited for him...but already I can feel the ghosts of missing him.

I made some delicious damson jam again from the windfalls from next doors tree, sieved out the skins this year, yum!
It is scary, it only seems a short while ago that I was making jam and lighting fires last autumn...hmmm time marches on... http://kimsponderings.blogspot.com/2010/09/summers-end.html look at what I wrote this time last year.

...at least my socks are coming along nicely...

and more exciting projects to come!

Contentment

Yesterday I felt tired beyond belief....so I went to bed early; not really relishing the idea of driving today. I was rewarded for my early night by being wide awake at 10 to 5 in the morning...I looked outside to be greeted by a day that would have not been out of place in the middle of November, grey, rainy and depressing with the prospect of a 200 mile round trip ahead of me...

This evening I returned in late afternoon, late summer sunshine...the kind of light that seems to have a golden warmth to it...and feeling as fresh as a spring flower despite having driven for 5 hours. Explain that! Easy...I spent the day with my two best friends.

I have never really had best friends before and it could be argued that I am a little long in the tooth to start! But these two are special...somehow we just click. We are quite different in many ways, each from different backgrounds, and yet we fit, we compliment each other perfectly.
On the face of it we did nothing special, we sat around drinking coffee, eating a simple (but delicious) omelet and salad. We coloured and played with two small boys. There was knitting and talking. And I came away feeling fully restored, rebalanced and content. Happier and fresher than I have felt for ages. And with plans for meeting again before the year is out as well as plotting a trip to Glastonbury to camp next year. Pure, unadulterated magic! And thank the Goddess for that magic I say!

holding the space part one

For the second time in two years I'm sitting here with my heart thumping in my chest, waiting and hoping...it's A level results day.

Two years ago when it was Lorna's turn I had no idea what to expect before hand. I have had an interesting relationship with my children's education, I hold little faith in the education system, nor rate the ensuing results, I have never been particularly academic. When it comes to the children I have always been enormously proud of their achievements, academic or otherwise. I have tried to foster an attitude of doing the best they can for themselves...not to please me or a teacher but for their own pleasure and pride in what they do. Basically I want them to be happy.

So we live and learn...of course Josh is a very different person to Lorna, but at least I was forewarned of something of the process this time. To be honest I don't think that makes any difference! It's nerve wrecking sitting here waiting for him to fetch his results, watching his face when he returns home, hearing his disappointment not to have achieved as he hoped he would, listening with bated breath from another room whilst he rings the university's on clearing to see if they will offer him a place. The frustration as the line is busy or, for one uni simply cutting him off. Then holding my breath as he gets through, hearing him answer the same questions over and over as he works his way through the different levels of staff. Waiting and waiting for them to ring back...

Being a parent is the best job I ever had....but like any job worth it's salt it's not all sunshine and laughter...still wouldn't change it for the anything.