Today has been a day of memories and emotions for me.
The first memory is of this day 15 years ago, when I sat glued to the tv screen as the horrific events in New York unfolded before me...
The next memory was of driving Josh to University for the first time, 5 years ago, and just how bereft I felt as I left him in Manchester and drove home in floods of tears. Maybe subconsciously I realised then that this was our goodbye, that he would never come back to live in Darlington with us. In a few weeks he leaves behind life in the UK to have adventures half way around the world. Now whilst I am excited for him, and truly hope that he has a wonderful time, I am also keenly aware of just how much I am going to miss him.
Having children, being a mother, is the best, most challenging and most rewarding thing that I have ever, or will ever do. But if I thought times were challenging when they were small I had no idea! Being the parent of adults is something else all together! I loved seeing the people that they turned into, but oh my goodness, when they are having a tough time and you can no longer kiss it better or shield them from harm, it hurts so deeply. The thought of being thousands of miles away is particularly scary...but what I am learning, is that whilst we never stop worrying and we will always do whatever we can, whenever we can, we do have to let go so that they can fly. Even if that means crash landings, aborted flights and changes in schedules. I guess even when they were little this held true, but I could pretend that I had more control than I really did!
This last year and a half has certainly held a lot of change, excitement and celebration, and there is so much to look forward to in the coming year.
So Josh, take good care and have the best adventures, I look forward to hearing all about it and giving you a big hug, I'm sure a year will fly by.
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