Today has been a day of memories and emotions for me.
The first memory is of this day 15 years ago, when I sat glued to the tv screen as the horrific events in New York unfolded before me...
The next memory was of driving Josh to University for the first time, 5 years ago, and just how bereft I felt as I left him in Manchester and drove home in floods of tears. Maybe subconsciously I realised then that this was our goodbye, that he would never come back to live in Darlington with us. In a few weeks he leaves behind life in the UK to have adventures half way around the world. Now whilst I am excited for him, and truly hope that he has a wonderful time, I am also keenly aware of just how much I am going to miss him.
Having children, being a mother, is the best, most challenging and most rewarding thing that I have ever, or will ever do. But if I thought times were challenging when they were small I had no idea! Being the parent of adults is something else all together! I loved seeing the people that they turned into, but oh my goodness, when they are having a tough time and you can no longer kiss it better or shield them from harm, it hurts so deeply. The thought of being thousands of miles away is particularly scary...but what I am learning, is that whilst we never stop worrying and we will always do whatever we can, whenever we can, we do have to let go so that they can fly. Even if that means crash landings, aborted flights and changes in schedules. I guess even when they were little this held true, but I could pretend that I had more control than I really did!
This last year and a half has certainly held a lot of change, excitement and celebration, and there is so much to look forward to in the coming year.
So Josh, take good care and have the best adventures, I look forward to hearing all about it and giving you a big hug, I'm sure a year will fly by.
Sunday, 11 September 2016
Sunday, 24 January 2016
Stream of conciousness, the juicy revolution and me.
I'm feeling the need to talk my thoughts out!
So, over the last year and a bit I have been on quite a journey, perhaps the approach to my half century spurred things along! I lost around three stone, easily and kept on losing a little, gaining a pound or two but then losing three more. Until the end of the year, when I had gone back up to 11 7. That's ok I thought I can do another juice fast and the weight will drop off and all will be well with my world.
Except this time it has felt harder, I have been battling food demons, craving rubbish and the weight hasn't fallen off. I have got back down to 11 3, which is still bloomin' amazing, but I have been feeling frustrated and more than a little bit scared that this time I'm really in trouble.
You see, for many years I weighed more than was healthy. My diet was never horrendous, but it obviously wasn't ideal either. I tried several diets/weight loss programmes. Sometimes I had good results, but increasingly next to nothing happened apart from my soul being crushed! And always I went back to 'normal' and piled back on any weight I had lost and a bit more for good measure. I tried thinking myself slim....
I knew in my heart that I needed to completely change my lifestyle and eating habits for life as well as changing my mind set. But honestly didn't know where to start.
Being ill over the holidays in 2014 and then starting my juicing journey seemed to be the catalyst that I had needed. And for most of 2015 things were great. But then I let things slip, not everything, but enough for the weight to start creeping up and my self worth to start falling off.
Since 2016 began I have followed two weeks of Super Juice Me and last week I followed the Juice Yourself Slim juice fast. I have got my weight down to 11 3, which I'm not going to lie, feels like something of a let down. I have fallen off the wagon here and there, I found myself buying not one but two almond croissants the other day and not just eating them but positively inhaling them...I wasn't even hungry, what the heck was that all about??
Then today I woke up feel like death, head full of cotton wool, nose and eyes streaming. Oh great! The wee lad that I look after has obviously been more than generous with his cold germs! I wallowed for a while. Then I got up, had some hot water and lemon (as I do most every day) but with a little ginger and honey too, had a ginger shot to help me fight the virus, had my smoothie and gave myself the day off. I was sad to not have my faithful nurse to look after me, but put myself back to bed and started reading the Jason Vale 5:2 juice diet book.
And I am starting to feel that I have some perspective back. I have obviously reached a point in my weight between 11 3 and 11 7, that is where my body wants to be. Yes in my head I WANT to be 10 stone or less...but to achieve that probably isn't healthy or realistic or compatible with my current life. I'm still so much healthier, happier and lighter than I have been for many many years. My tolerance point has shifted, I only need to gain 3lbs or so and I am proactive about changing my life to get back the balance. And I'm changing from a diet mentality to having a healthy outlook on life.
So here is my pledge, I'm putting it out here for the world to see, and so that I can come back to it whenever I need reminding. I am going to follow the Jason Vale 5:2 juice diet system, this means any two days during the week I will drink four juices as 'prescribed' on the programme. Three days I will eat 'clean' healthy delicious meals and then the other two days I will be human! This I will maintain for life, I will have days where things don't go to plan, heck I may even have a week or so! Four times a year I will put myself in for a service, i.e. I will follow a week long juice fast, giving my body a break, feeding it only freshly extracted juices and resetting my system. I will continue to move my body at least 5 out of the 7 days a week, bouncing, practising yoga, walking, cycling, pilates, Zumba, running up and down the stairs! I am going to continue to love my body and appreciate all that it does for me, for without it I would not be alive. I am going to put behind me the demons, the self loathing and down talking and being positive, excited for the future whilst firmly living in the here and now.
Join me if you like, join the juicy revolution and get healthy and stay healthy.
Namaste.
So, over the last year and a bit I have been on quite a journey, perhaps the approach to my half century spurred things along! I lost around three stone, easily and kept on losing a little, gaining a pound or two but then losing three more. Until the end of the year, when I had gone back up to 11 7. That's ok I thought I can do another juice fast and the weight will drop off and all will be well with my world.
Except this time it has felt harder, I have been battling food demons, craving rubbish and the weight hasn't fallen off. I have got back down to 11 3, which is still bloomin' amazing, but I have been feeling frustrated and more than a little bit scared that this time I'm really in trouble.
You see, for many years I weighed more than was healthy. My diet was never horrendous, but it obviously wasn't ideal either. I tried several diets/weight loss programmes. Sometimes I had good results, but increasingly next to nothing happened apart from my soul being crushed! And always I went back to 'normal' and piled back on any weight I had lost and a bit more for good measure. I tried thinking myself slim....
I knew in my heart that I needed to completely change my lifestyle and eating habits for life as well as changing my mind set. But honestly didn't know where to start.
Being ill over the holidays in 2014 and then starting my juicing journey seemed to be the catalyst that I had needed. And for most of 2015 things were great. But then I let things slip, not everything, but enough for the weight to start creeping up and my self worth to start falling off.
Since 2016 began I have followed two weeks of Super Juice Me and last week I followed the Juice Yourself Slim juice fast. I have got my weight down to 11 3, which I'm not going to lie, feels like something of a let down. I have fallen off the wagon here and there, I found myself buying not one but two almond croissants the other day and not just eating them but positively inhaling them...I wasn't even hungry, what the heck was that all about??
Then today I woke up feel like death, head full of cotton wool, nose and eyes streaming. Oh great! The wee lad that I look after has obviously been more than generous with his cold germs! I wallowed for a while. Then I got up, had some hot water and lemon (as I do most every day) but with a little ginger and honey too, had a ginger shot to help me fight the virus, had my smoothie and gave myself the day off. I was sad to not have my faithful nurse to look after me, but put myself back to bed and started reading the Jason Vale 5:2 juice diet book.
And I am starting to feel that I have some perspective back. I have obviously reached a point in my weight between 11 3 and 11 7, that is where my body wants to be. Yes in my head I WANT to be 10 stone or less...but to achieve that probably isn't healthy or realistic or compatible with my current life. I'm still so much healthier, happier and lighter than I have been for many many years. My tolerance point has shifted, I only need to gain 3lbs or so and I am proactive about changing my life to get back the balance. And I'm changing from a diet mentality to having a healthy outlook on life.
So here is my pledge, I'm putting it out here for the world to see, and so that I can come back to it whenever I need reminding. I am going to follow the Jason Vale 5:2 juice diet system, this means any two days during the week I will drink four juices as 'prescribed' on the programme. Three days I will eat 'clean' healthy delicious meals and then the other two days I will be human! This I will maintain for life, I will have days where things don't go to plan, heck I may even have a week or so! Four times a year I will put myself in for a service, i.e. I will follow a week long juice fast, giving my body a break, feeding it only freshly extracted juices and resetting my system. I will continue to move my body at least 5 out of the 7 days a week, bouncing, practising yoga, walking, cycling, pilates, Zumba, running up and down the stairs! I am going to continue to love my body and appreciate all that it does for me, for without it I would not be alive. I am going to put behind me the demons, the self loathing and down talking and being positive, excited for the future whilst firmly living in the here and now.
Join me if you like, join the juicy revolution and get healthy and stay healthy.
Namaste.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)