At another crossroads

As another year roles in I find myself at another of life's crossroads. We began the New Year with a big kitchen clear out...literally everything had to go! Well, be temporarily relocated whilst we have a new kitchen fitted. The end of the process is now tantalisingly close and it mostly feels pretty good (though I will be happiest when the dust removal..from the entire house..is complete!)

All cleared out 

Whilst there have been strangers coming and going and routines disrupted I have been living a sort of limbo life. The first week I sat and caught up with some of my unfinished knitting projects (as well as starting a few new ones!), it felt good. This week so far, has been more of a mix, trying to live as normally as possible (with the kitchen packed up and relocated in the dining room!)

The kitchen in the dining room

There will be decorating to do once the contractors move out (Monday deadline), which will extend to finishing the hallway that didn't get done nearly two years ago, yikes! and the downstairs loo, and possibly the dining room....

But besides all this excitement and mess my journey to 'find out what I want to be when I grow up' (wiwtbwigu) continues. The story so far...I always wanted to work with children, from being very young. I did the NNEB, had two fabulous nannying jobs...and then found out I was pregnant. Being a mother was the best job in the world ever! And managing to combine mothering with working was awesome....child minding never felt like work!

But then we relocated and all my children were in school. So I began to look for something new. The journey to becoming a homeopath was an emotional one. I grew and learned so much...I learned that I didn't want to work alone, at home...and so my quest continued.

Then I found myself studying again...to become an antenatal teacher. Another emotional and stretching few years. More learning, more discovery about myself...I tried on the antenatal teacher hat for a year after qualifying and decided that it didn't quite fit right...sigh....feeling that I'm getting closer to 'wiwtbwigu' but not quite there. The relax stretch and breathe/yoga for pregnancy was the next leg of the journey. And this feels as if it fits very well. I began teaching a year ago and have loved every minute. I have had some great feedback from the women who I have had the pleasure to guide. But since September things have been frustrating to say the least. Despite having twelve women on the register at one point I have only managed to run two or three sessions, each with only two women (I'm not asking for much, with four women I get paid, and the room doesn't comfortably hold more than about ten! Between four and seven is perfect...).

There are always going to be challenges for pregnant women getting to classes, especially as so many work right up to the end of pregnancy. But for some reason those challenges have been magnified in the last few months for the women booked onto my classes. As well as work commitments there have also been too many early births and ill health. I shall keep on trying though, the small group of women that came to me last year are all firm friends and meet up with each other every week...they still speak fondly of the classes (and the cakes!) so I know just how valuable they can be.

However, even if RSB becomes an overnight success, it's still only one night a week (with preparation time during the day too), so I have been pondering what else I could do. After my light bulb moment last year, I swore not to do any more training courses until I was earning more than I was spending...so what could i do with the skills I have?

At the end of last year I started thinking how much I would love to go back into child care...but I wasn't keen on nursery/preschool/school/child minding for a number of reasons. I did some searching and realised that I could go back full circle and be a nanny again. I didn't do anything about it though and the season moved on. Then last week a friend posted a link on facebook to a nanny agency...I am now actively seeking to register with the agency. I'm excited and trepidatious in equal measure at the idea of starting something new, but it feels 'just right'. I only want to work two or three days a week (it's been too many years since I was in full time employment to jump right back in, I would like to ease myself in gently and see how it goes!)

So, watch this space and see whether I'm any closer to finding 'wiwtbwigu'!