Live, love, laugh and be happy!!!

I have had a 'light bulb' moment today! For most of my life I have believed that I am fat. I have loathed looking at my reflection, covered up, not believed it when people pay me compliments and hated photographs of myself. When it was our 25th anniversary I made a scrap book of photos, tickets etc to act as a memoir of our life together so far. There was one particular photo of me when I was 21. We were on holiday on a boat on the Norfolk broads, I was recovering from chickenpox and wearing a skimpy bikini....the girl in that photo was definitely NOT fat!! It saddened me to think of all the time the I had spent hating myself, what a waste of energy.

It is undeniable looking back at other photos before and since that my weight has been an issue. I think at the moment I am about the heaviest I have ever been and that must have an impact on my health in the long run. The thing I realised today is that hating myself doesn't help at all! It's obvious really! The thing that clinched it though was looking at some photos from last week, a meal with my family, blowing out candles on my birthday and a sunny day with my girls, nephew and parents...yes I am still over weight but I'm happy. And I am SO lucky, I live a great life! I have a wonderful husband whom I love a great deal (and who loves me too, always has, regardless of my size!), three fabulous children, a lovely family (even if we don't get together as often as I would like), amazing friends, a solid, cozy house, few worries, my health.

So from now on I promise not to duck the next time a camera is pointed my way, or cringe when I catch a glimpse of myself reflected. I am going to live, laugh and love...wobbly bits and all!