I'm trying to find the words to write this post...it's going
to be a long one! On Thursday morning I woke up as normal and began the day as
usual with yoga and juice.
Lorna, my eldest daughter, was 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
It was a beautiful sunny day so I text her and suggested that we get some photos of her and her partner, Joe whilst she still had a bump. She messaged back saying "OK we might be experiencing a bit of something :/ bh or something dno...x to which I sent lots of excited emoji's! She wanted to know how she would know what's real and I told her she'd know, but that it is all real! Even Braxton Hicks are helping your womb tone up, a bit like an orchestra tuning up. But that she should look for regular sensations lasting up to a minute long. She told me they were not lasting very long yet, but seemed quite regular about every 10-15 minute. She had told Joe to start timing, it could be his job....he got his stopwatch out! I said it was best to get on with life as normally as possible, keep upright and keep moving.
So they put a sausage casserole into the slow cooker and then popped round before a routine check-up with the midwife and I took some pictures...she was looking radiant.
After the midwife appointment they were at a loose end so I took them out for a
coffee and a toastie and then we went our separate ways, with the understanding
that they would call me if they needed me (I was privileged to have been asked
to be one of her birth partners alongside Joe and the midwives).
We continued to message back and forth over the evening. The twinges continued, becoming more frequent but not very long and not too intense. By 6.30 pm they were quite a bit stronger and Lorna started to panic that they would continue for a long time and that she wouldn't be able to cope. I offered some ideas for managing in early labour and told her to let me know if/when she wanted me to come round.
I had already put my wash kit and a few other bits in a bag the night before...it's weird how these thing go, it's almost like I sensed something was coming!
She text me around 9.30 pm saying she couldn't do this for days, we messaged back and forth for half an hour and then I suggested I popped round to see how things were and how I could help.
When I arrived, she was definitely in early labour. Each contraction had her running to the loo with diarrhoea, and it wasn't long before she pretty much set up camp on the loo with a bucket close at hand because she felt so nauseous with each contraction! (though she didn't actually vomit). She seemed to get two contractions close together each lasting about 30 seconds, then 2 or 3 minutes later she would have another one. She was instinctively using her breath to manage the sensations. In the rare moments that she stood up, she would do a lovely labour dance, rocking gently from side to side whilst rubbing her belly.
She was managing so well that it was hard to tell whether it was just very early labour or more established, I suspected that she was quite well along. Every so often she was getting stuck in her thinking brain, panicking and tensing up and shivering. But as soon as she was reminded to get back to her breathing things would get going well again.
Around midnight we rang the labour ward to speak to a midwife to find out whether the community midwife needed to be called out yet or not. I filled them in and then passed the phone to Lorna. I could hear them giving her the advice they give to any woman in early labour and was transported back 25 years to when I was in labour with Lorna! Take a warm bath, some paracetamol and call us again a bit later or if you are worried. Bathing/washing can be challenging for Lorna as this aggravates her eczema and she had said all along that she didn't want a water birth for this reason, getting in a warm bath now was unlikely to calm her down. She tried a little liquid paracetamol but it made her feel sick, and to be honest I don't think she needed it.
She seemed to be progressing nicely, still using just her breath. Every so often she would try a different position, but always ended up perched back on the loo. We turned off the bathroom light and just put a lamp on the landing.
We had all entered a different time zone by now, the contractions were still quite close together lasting between 30 and 45 seconds. And my memory is fuzzy. We called the labour ward again just before 2 am. I explained that the contractions were still close together and quite intense but didn't seem to me lasting much longer each time. Lorna was again concerned that things would go on for a long time, and she would run out of steam. I thought they said the community midwife would ring back in ten minutes, but 45 minutes later she hadn't called so I rang then again and was told she was on her way out.
The community midwife, V, arrived not long after. She put all the lights back on and assessed what was happening and said it all looked very good. She took Lorna's blood pressure, temperature, pulse and listened in to babies heart beat etc. She checked and said that Lorna was 5 cm dilated. This was brilliant news and meant that once she was established back on the loo, with the lights dimmed again, things really felt like they were moving along.
I was beside Lorna now, holding her hand, rubbing her leg. Every so often she would look deep into my eyes asking verbally or just with her eyes if everything was OK and normal, I kept reassuring her that it was. Joe was a great support, making cups of tea for the midwife; fetching anything he was asked, talking to Lorna.
With each contraction she was going deeper into herself, calming and quietening. Occasionally she would say "what was that?" and with a little encouragement she would describe the sensation she was talking about and we were able to explain and reassure. As things progressed the occasional "what was that turned into "what the f*** was that?"!
My memory gets a little fuzzy from then on as we were all in a different time zone, labour time is a magical thing! But the midwife quietly kept coming in to listen in to babies heart beat and take Lorna's pulse every 15 minutes or so. She remained outside the bathroom, getting everything ready, the rest of the time. V kept joking that baby would be born down the loo! but Lorna was only comfy when she was sitting on it.
V phoned the second midwife to fill her in, but said not to rush...I heard her joke "put some slap on B, you don't want to scare anyone!" About an hour later B arrived. I gently pushed the bathroom door closed a little more so that Lorna wouldn't be disturbed by the light and the 1st midwife filling the 2nd in on progress. Joe made more tea, apparently he makes a really good cup of tea!
I think it was somewhere around 5.30 am, after a little lull, the contractions changed and Lorna started to make a few pushing sounds, I glanced over at V with excited eyes, we both knew this baby would be here pretty soon.
After the second urge to push, Lorna got down on the bathroom floor on her hands and knees, head facing the bath. I sat on the edge of the bath on one side, Joe on the other. I pressed the palm of my hand on the lower part of her back and rubbed firmly each time she bore down.
At one point, just after a contraction, Lorna exclaimed "I don't know why they tell you to push (i.e. on the TV and stuff) you have no bloody choice!" All along she had been going with her body, letting it do its thing. After only two or three pushes the midwife said she could see the baby’s head. A couple more pushes and Lorna's language became even more flowery! "What the f*** is that?" We explained that baby's head was almost out, stretching everything to the max..."well it bl**** hurts she gasped...I told her that it meant JB would be here any moment.
Joe sensibly stayed by Lorna's head, this was all very new territory for him!
The next push and baby was crowning, a moment later we could see babies face! It was magical, that moment when baby is suspended just between the two worlds, not quite here yet but no longer in the womb. The little face was blowing bubbles and trying to make sounds. I told Lorna what I could see, and that it was a beautiful face. I also spoke gently to baby, saying hello.
After a short pause in contractions, Lorna bore down again, as gently as she could and baby turned, before shooting out in a tsunami of bloody amniotic fluid!
The baby was manoeuvred up underneath Lorna as she was
helped to sit leaning against the bathroom door.
I looked to see whether it was a boy or girl and asked if they had seen, just tell us was the response..."it's a boy!" This was about 6.30 am. The look on Lorna and Joe's faces was amazement. "It's a baby! He came out of me!" Lorna said incredulously.
When the cord had finished pulsing, the midwife clamped it and showed Joe where to cut. It took a good few snips!
Lorna then noticed that she was having contractions again, ready to birth the
placenta. Still leaning against the bathroom door, holding baby, she asked if
it would feel the same as birthing the baby. We explained that no, it was
smaller and squishier. Joe was still sitting on the side of the bath, but now
he had a ring side view...so when the placenta shot into the world he got a bit
of shock!
To Be Continued
