Contentment

Yesterday I felt tired beyond belief....so I went to bed early; not really relishing the idea of driving today. I was rewarded for my early night by being wide awake at 10 to 5 in the morning...I looked outside to be greeted by a day that would have not been out of place in the middle of November, grey, rainy and depressing with the prospect of a 200 mile round trip ahead of me...

This evening I returned in late afternoon, late summer sunshine...the kind of light that seems to have a golden warmth to it...and feeling as fresh as a spring flower despite having driven for 5 hours. Explain that! Easy...I spent the day with my two best friends.

I have never really had best friends before and it could be argued that I am a little long in the tooth to start! But these two are special...somehow we just click. We are quite different in many ways, each from different backgrounds, and yet we fit, we compliment each other perfectly.
On the face of it we did nothing special, we sat around drinking coffee, eating a simple (but delicious) omelet and salad. We coloured and played with two small boys. There was knitting and talking. And I came away feeling fully restored, rebalanced and content. Happier and fresher than I have felt for ages. And with plans for meeting again before the year is out as well as plotting a trip to Glastonbury to camp next year. Pure, unadulterated magic! And thank the Goddess for that magic I say!

holding the space part one

For the second time in two years I'm sitting here with my heart thumping in my chest, waiting and hoping...it's A level results day.

Two years ago when it was Lorna's turn I had no idea what to expect before hand. I have had an interesting relationship with my children's education, I hold little faith in the education system, nor rate the ensuing results, I have never been particularly academic. When it comes to the children I have always been enormously proud of their achievements, academic or otherwise. I have tried to foster an attitude of doing the best they can for themselves...not to please me or a teacher but for their own pleasure and pride in what they do. Basically I want them to be happy.

So we live and learn...of course Josh is a very different person to Lorna, but at least I was forewarned of something of the process this time. To be honest I don't think that makes any difference! It's nerve wrecking sitting here waiting for him to fetch his results, watching his face when he returns home, hearing his disappointment not to have achieved as he hoped he would, listening with bated breath from another room whilst he rings the university's on clearing to see if they will offer him a place. The frustration as the line is busy or, for one uni simply cutting him off. Then holding my breath as he gets through, hearing him answer the same questions over and over as he works his way through the different levels of staff. Waiting and waiting for them to ring back...

Being a parent is the best job I ever had....but like any job worth it's salt it's not all sunshine and laughter...still wouldn't change it for the anything.